From Competition to Collaboration

Over the last few weeks, Mr. Ryan’s 10th grade students have been busy drafting six word memoirs, composing letters to their younger selves, and annotating timelines about important events in their lives. Though Mr. Ryan has explained that all of this reflection will prepare them for their upcoming “This I Believe” essay, this week, the process became REAL.  First, he showed the students videos created by his previous students – essentially picture slideshows with their reading of their essay in the background – which are posted on YouTube.  Next, he organized an “Agree/Disagree” activity where each student received a list of statements, brainstormed reasons why they agreed or disagreed with them, and, when called on, stood up to explain their stance on one given statement.  On the first day, Mr. Ryan required students to speak for 15 seconds, and on the second day, for 30 seconds. 

I felt like an audience member at a Miss America pageant.  The students waited silently for their names to be called and nodded dutifully while pushing themselves up from their chairs, convincing themselves that they could handle whatever was to come.  Most started their 30 seconds with a rephrasing of the question: I agree/disagree that . . . because . . . and looped their way around to finish: And that is why I agree/disagree that . . .  Some used poignant examples and some became tongue-tied, but each student’s voice was heard.

The students impressed me with their poise, yet I was surprised by their responses to certain statements.  For example, when Mr. Ryan read, “People learn from their mistakes,” I thought for sure that the students would agree; making mistakes seems to be touted as an ideal way to learn from the time we are young. However, several students stood up and admitted that despite being aware that what they were doing was wrong, they continued on anyway.  Then, one of the more outgoing girls in the class agreed with the statement, “You can’t depend on anyone else; you can only depend on yourself.”  To support her belief, she mentioned a brief example of not being able to depend on her family for a ride home from school.

Looking back, I shouldn’t have been so surprised by the students’ answers.  I would have shared their beliefs if Mr. Ryan were to ask me these questions when I was in 10th grade . . . or even if someone were to ask me these questions a year or two ago.  This relatively theoretical world of practicum that I currently reside in has changed me.

This is not to say that I am not disappointed when I make mistakes.  And this is not to say that I don’t sometimes think to myself, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.”  Certainly my perfectionism prefers to get things right the first time and wonders whether others will come through on their promises.  However, my experience as an education major has shifted my thinking.  I’ve read articles about and written my own “shitty first drafts.”  I am learning how to share responsibility when planning lessons and teaching with a partner.  Because the emphasis is on receiving feedback, seeking mastery, and not on earning a certain grade, practicum is a safe place to make mistakes.  Because my fellow TCs have similar ideals, struggles, and goals, we can depend on each other.  Together, these experiences are pushing me from intense competition to productive collaboration.       

I can’t help but wonder if students’ willful refusal to learn from mistakes is their way to preserve their identity by saying, “Your harsh criticism of my mistakes doesn’t matter because I didn’t try to follow the rules anyway” (this is an idea I’ve borrowed from Herb Kohl’s “I Won’t Learn from You”).  And, unfortunately, my visions of a safe, supportive, collaborative classroom cannot change parents’ busy schedules so that all students can have a ride home without worry.  Nevertheless, this week of observations reminded me of important questions I want to keep in mind as I assume the role of teacher: How can I foster an environment where students are comfortable and willing to learn from their mistakes?  How can I be sure to scaffold community building so that students feel that, at least in the context of my class, they can depend on each other? 

This I believe: the future depends more on collaboration than on competition.